Why do we need to lose our children?

September 1, 2022

It’s hard to write about something so personal. It’s even harder to read. But I think it’s important. If we want to move forward, we need to understand why our children are taken from us. We need to understand the grief and depression that follows. Only then can we begin to cope with our loss and find hope for the future.

I lost my children to DRPLA in 2016 and 2021. I still think about them every day, and I miss them terribly. But I’ve learned that grief is not something to be overcome or cured. It’s a natural response to loss, and it can be a source of strength and comfort.

I’m not the same person I was before my son and daughter died. I’m stronger and more resilient, but I’m also more vulnerable. I know how precious life is, and how quickly it can be taken away. I try to live each day to the fullest, and to cherish the time I have to inspire people out there to be Mentally STRONG.

No parent should have to bury their child. It’s not natural. It’s not right. But unfortunately, it happens every day. Parents lose children to accidents, illness, and violence. And the grief that follows can be overwhelming. I know because I’ve been there. The grief was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t work. I was consumed by grief and depression. Thankfully, I had a wonderful support system of family and friends who helped me through the darkest days. But even with their help, it was a struggle to get out of bed each morning. Some days I still feel like I’m just going through the motions of life. But I try to remember that my children would want me to be happy and to live my life to the fullest. So that’s what I’m trying to do.

Losing a child is one of the most difficult experiences a parent can go through. grief can be all-consuming, making it hard to focus on anything else. It’s common to feel like you’re in a dark tunnel with no way out. But grief is a natural process that helps us heal from our loss. In time, the intense pain will lessen, and you’ll be able to start moving forward. For many parents, the idea of moving forward can feel like betraying their child. But grief doesn’t mean forgetting your child or living in a state of misery forever. It’s okay to laugh and enjoy life again. Honoring your child’s memory can help you find joy in the midst of sorrow.

If you’re grieving the loss of a child, know that you are not alone. There are many other parents who have been through this pain and survived. Reach out for support from your family, friends, and community. There is no shame in seeking help from a grief counselor or therapist. We need to talk about our grief, so that we can begin to heal our broken hearts.

Sharing your story with others who have been through similar loss can also provide comfort and connection. If you’re finding it hard to cope with grief, don’t hesitate to reach out for help from a therapist or grief support group. You don’t have to go through this difficult time alone.

Let’s help each other, Spread the word of hope because I believe that we are all Mentally STRONG.

Dr. Cristi Bundukamara